The Child in Me
by Chiharu Yuizaki
Summary: DISCONTINUED A practical joke gone wrong turns 4 students into kids. Now, it's up to Harry and Draco to take care of their best friends until Fred and George find a way to reverse the spell. HPDM SLASH
1. Of pokeamans and poo

**Title:** The Child in Me

**Rating**: PG-13 (for s-words and f-words and stuff that only grown-ups could say!)

**Disclaimer**: Harry Potter is for sale and the bidding starts at five undred Euro! No, seriously, I just kidnapped him, alright?

**Pairings**: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy with other little cute crushes for kids...

**Author's Notes:** Summer is almost over and I want to do something since I'll be stuck in the house for a while. Inspirations to write this tory came after watching all the episodes of Aishiteruze Bebii (I love you Baby) in marathon after Sensitive Pornograph with my friends. Yes, we are a bunch of sickos, we are! Anyways, enjoy...if you can!

**Chapter One**: Of Poke-a-mans and Poo

"Draco! Draco!" a boy no older than five with raven colored hair yelled, shaking a still sleeping blonde from his nap.

When the blonde didn't move, the boy pouted for a second before yelling again. "COME ON DRACO! GET UP! UP!" He yelled, grabbing Draco's leg and pulling at it.

The blonde stirred and eyed the boy with a murderous glare. "What the hell do you want, Zabini?" He barked out, glaring at his five year old best friend.

"OOOOHHHH! You said the h-word, I'm telling Harry!" they boy placed his hands over his mouth to imitate that of a shocked lady. "You'll get in trouble! I'm telling!" he cried, giggling at the mischief that he would surely cause between his two sitters.

"Zabini, one word about this out of your uncouth mouth to Harry and I swear, you will never see the images of a telly ever again!" He threatened the boy.

The boy glared at him. "You can't ground me because you'll get in trouble with Harry first!" The boy whines, speaking with what Draco could only assume as righteous anger on the child's part.

He smirked at the boy maliciously. "Who said anything about grounding you? What I mean what that I'd stab your eyes out."

And that did it for not a mili-second later, five year old Blaise Zabini was a weeping, bawling mass on the floor, throwing a temper tantrum. "WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Draco's a big fat ugly meanie! Harry!" he child cried, looking the kinder one of the two sitters.

Draco gulped. If Blaise were to tell on him, he'd be in big trouble. The-boy-who-always-gets-his-knickers-in-a-bunch would surely tell on him and the last thing he needed was to be scolded by Pothead Potter. Looking at the snot faced child in front of him who subsided in his tirade and was now merely sniffing, he sighed. "Okay, look, I'm sorry I was mean to you. Bad Draco." he said and as if to prove his point, he slapped himself on the hand. This seemed to make Blaise feel better because he giggled.

"'Sokay, Draco, I forgive you!" tears miraculously gone, Blaise looked up at the silver eyes Slytherin Sex God turned Nanny. "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you!"

"Tell me what?" Draco asked, glad the boy calmed down.

"This!" Blaise cried, pulling out a stack of cards with pictures of weird animals in different colors.

"What the hell are those?" Draco asked, looking at them warily. "Hey you know what, forget I asked, I don't really care anyway."

"No, no, no! I wanna show you!" Blaise cried as he dragged Draco down towards the sofa where he was just napping mere minutes ago.

And Draco felt like hell was unto him.

"This" cried Blaise in an uber excited voice, "is Pikachu!" he gave the card for Draco to see better. It was a picture of a yellow stuffed animal looking thingy with yellow and black horns, a long zigzagged tail, and round red cheeks. Sure enough, the name on top of the card was Pikachu indeed. "He's a mouse Pokemon that Ash got from Professor Oak. He's got super powers like he can go real real fast and he can shoot electity out o' his cheeks. He's cool! He's my favorite Pokemon!"

Draco was barely listening, his eyes glassy, indeed of sleep and Blaise was talking about rats with Oaks and Poke-a-man.

"This is Raichu, he's the evolved form of Pikachu! His tail is really strong." The boy continued to explain, shoving one card after another to Draco. "And this is Skarmory! He's a steel type Pokemon! This is Jigglypuff, she's funny, but I don't like her cuz she's pink and Pansy says Pink is girls and not for big boys like me. But she has a marker and she draws on people's faces..."

Blah. Blah. Blah. Draco was barely listening now, only catching certain words like facial graffiti and pink and more poke-a-man. Is Potter truly that dense so as not to know that such things like teaching graffiti to children and hidden sexual innuendos bad for a growing mind? Maybe, after all, Potter isn't exactly the sharpest tack in the box.

"And this is Golem...blah...rolls like a rock...blah...evolves from...rock type...blah." And at the end of his sentence, Blaise was breathing hard fro excitement.

"Are you done now?" Draco asked in a bored drawl.

Blaise politely nodded his head. "Yes, that's all the cards I have right now, Harry will buy me more later though." He smiled.

Draco gave an evil look. "Okay then, my turn." he said as he took Blaise's hand and directed them to the bathroom. When they got inside, Draco opened the medicine cabinet and took out various bottles. He also opened the drawer to bring out...more bottle and cans with fancy writings on them. Draco gave Blaise an evil glint of the eye. "This," Draco pointed a small pale blue bottle, "is _grands cheveux _which costs about 312.6 €, which, let me tell you right now, is a lot of money. But what can I say, it makes my hair soft and fluffy." Draco looked at the bored face on Blaise face and smirked. "And this is a little something I ordered all the way from Italy, _morbido sapone_, it makes my skin silky smooth, so when I shag the ladies, they would never forget my sweet smelling scent. It's pretty expensive too. And this-"

"Draco. I'm bored." Blaise whined.

"Of course you are! Now do you see how it feels to be told about your stupid poke-a-man when I could honestly care less?" he asked rather sharply.

However, before the child could snark back at him, a screech could be heard from the outside. "Ron! Ronald! RONALD!" Harry yelled, running after a lightning fast Weasley, the freckled wonder. "Ron, honestly, spit that out!" Harry turned to Draco with a pleading look. "Malfoy, help me catch him!"

"Why?" Draco asked lazily.

Harry glared at him. "Because he has something in his mouth and I don't know what it is, but it looks like chocolate and he's not supposed to have anymore sweets!" Harry said in a single breath, arms flailing in the air, trying to catch the boy.

"Chocolate? Weasley, where did you get the chocolate?" Draco asked, looking at the boy.

Ron stopped and grinned at Draco. "From the cat." he said simply.

"EEEWWWWW!" Draco cried, running away from Ron with a disgusted face. "Potter, that's not chocolate, that's cat shit!" Draco cried mercy as Ron started on him, probably for cover. "Weasley, get the hell away from me and your mouth full of shit! KYAAAAAAA!" He cried, feeling cornered, he did the only thing he knew to defend himself, he grabbed his wand and cried, "Petrificus Totalus!"

With the following BLOG! that sounded in the room felt like an earthquake. Then, as suddenly as it happened, Harry blew up. "What the hell, Malfoy! Why did you do that!" Harry yelled, enraged that his best friend was now petrifies on the floor.

"In case those glasses of your started fogging up Potter, he was running at me with shit in his mouth. It's not exactly my fault this happened, it was purely self defense."

"Self-defense my ass."

"No thank you, I think I'll pass."

Both of the only adults in the room glared at each other. Harry out of anger that his friend was not dead-still on the floor, and Draco out of fear that there would be poop anywhere near him. As Harry cleaned Ron's mouth and then un-petrified him, two girls roughly the same age as Blaise and Ron entered, talking in loud voices, one asking random questions, the other one answering them.

"Which would you rather have a terrible diarrhea and not be able to stop it for eternity or having terrible constipation and not be able to go for eternity?" the blonde asked, looking at the other girl.

The bushy haired girl with soft hazel eyes seemed thoughtful for a second before answering. "Is that even probable?" she asked.

"Well, if we can use magic, I think its okay."

"But if we can use magic, I can just say one thing and then use magic to make me go poo or to stop me going potty." Hermione answered logically.

"I guess..." Pansy conceded.

Both Harry and Draco were staring with curiosity at the two and the track of their conversation.

"Well then, which is worse, eating someone's poo or eating your throw-up?" Pansy asked.

Draco coughed. "I know what Weasley would choose." he mumbled more to himself, which made Harry chuckle.

Draco turned to Harry with a surprised look and was greeted with an apologetic smile. "Sorry about getting angry at you earlier. I was just tired."

Draco grunted. "Whatever, it's all good." He said, although he had to turn away to hide the blush that was creeping up his face.

Hermione was about to answer the question when the door to the house opened and an old man with long white beard and half moon spectacles entered with a soft smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Potter. I trust everything is going fine with the children?" Albus Dumbledore asked, looking at the four kids that were grinning back at him.

_to be coninued..._

**A/N: **I just want to clear things up. If you're going to flame me, then please be aware that you can only do in one chapter of the entire story. I don't want a flame in every chapter, or else, I'll delete all your fucking reviews, got it. This is not an invitation to flame, so fuck you if you think I'm joking. Yes I'm a bitch but after this one person flamed every chapter of Draco's Pathetic attempt at romance, I figured I should give you guys a heads-up. Although I did send her/him an essay in MLA format about why I hated her/him without works cited ofcourse! Don't worry, it was pre-written long long ago so I didn't exactly waste too much time. Anyways, look out for chapter two, coming in about a week or so!


	2. almost the flashback

Title: The Child in Me

Rating: PG-13 (for s-words and f-words and stuff that only grown-ups could say!)

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is for sale and the bidding starts at five hundred Euros! No, seriously, I just kidnapped him, all right?

Pairings: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy with other little cute crushes for kids...

Chapter Two: Almost the flash back...

"Grandpa!" Hermione yelled, running up to the old man at top speed, her question long forgotten, just like her other female playmate.

Dumbledore looked at the girl, patter her on the head, and then turned to the two adults in the room, both of whom looked like hell. He smiled at them. "Good afternoon Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy, I trust that you are taking excellent care of the children?" He asked again in a conversational tone, as if it was a daily occurrence that there are little kids running, causing havoc in the house.

Draco glared at the old coot before blowing the hair out of his eyes. He hasn't taken a shower in days, his hair was getting matty and oily, his skin was starting to not look incredibly flawless, and worse of all, he hadn't gotten his recommended 12 hours of sleep in so long! "What are you doing here, you old barmy? Did those two idiots find a cure already?" he asked back, not in a conversational tone, but a haughty, almost childlike one.

Dumbledore smiled at him - Draco suspected that the only reason the old fart smiles is cause him to have wrinkles because he hated that stupid smile- and turned to Harry instead as if he had not spoken at all. "Mr. Potter, how are kids faring?"

It was Harry's turn to frown. "Miserable bunch, they are! Professor, please tell me George and Fred have found a counter-curse. I mean I've already missed two Quidditch practices and one game! If I don't show up for the next one, I'll be voted off as Captain!"

Draco scoffed. "Typical Potter, always just thinking about yourself. What about me? My fan club must be dying, seeing me a wreck like this! I haven't had a proper shower in years!" he cried, almost on the verge of pulling his hair out - but he wouldn't so that because his hair is beautiful, dammit!

Dumbledore smiled. "Now, now, settle down." he said in a patronizing voice, giving the two adults what Draco percepted as a condescending smile. "I'm sad to be the bearer of bad news, but someone had to do it."

Draco gulped. "What do you mean?" His Slytherin senses were tingling.

"Well, I'm afraid to say that two more of the students had been in the area when the incident happened."

"And?" Harry and Draco asked in unison.

"Well, I'm afraid to say that they have both turned into children as well." And as he said this, the door opened yet again to present two chubby little boys fighting over a floating tart over their heads.

"What are those?" Harry asked, appalled at the image.

His question was answered soon enough when Draco cried. "Crabbe! Goyle!"

"What?" Harry turned to him, surprised.

Draco ignored the boy-who-forgot-to-die and yelled in a voice to rival that of his father. "Crabbe, Goyle, stop this at once. Is this anyway for the two of you to behave?"

And almost in an instant, the two fighting kids stopped their actions and turned to Draco like a pair of petulant kids. "Sorry." they apologized in unison, hands neatly folded in front of them.

Instead of saying something comforting like 'that's fine' or 'it's okay' Draco looked at them both as if they were nothing more than trash on the roadside. "Don't do it again, or else." And as he left his words hanging like that, the image of the two kids flinching made him give a satisfied smirk.

"Don't you think that was a bit unnecessary?" Harry asked, eyeing the kids who looked like they were about to wee in their trousers.

"Don't you think you're a bit too stupid!" Draco snapped.

Harry was about to retort back when Ron, now fully revived, sang in a singsong voice, ignoring his surroundings, "King Kong, lost his ding dong, playing ping pong, down in Hong Kong!"

Draco stared at him in a disturbed way. "Weasley, do you have tourette?"

"What's that?" Ron asked, wide eyed, like only an innocent child can be.

Blaise giggled. "That sounds like a big poopy!"

Harry stared at the kids and at Malfoy, then turned to Dumbledore with a pleading look. "See what I have to deal with here, professor? Please, please please, tell George and Fed to hurry it up with the potion for the spell." Harry pulled his hair at this, and looked around madly in the room. "If I stay here for too long, I'm gonna have to go to St. Mungo's!"

"Potter, you are such a sad prick." Draco laughed and then turned to the Head Master, who was quiet up until now. "Professor, please, kindly take a message from me for the twins."

Dumbledore smiled, Draco frowned. "Surely Mr. Malfoy, what would it be?"

"Tell them that if they don't have the reverse spell or potion or whatever it is they are doing to help us very soon, I'm going to tear out their intestines and wrap it around a tree until it snaps and I will castrate them, cook their dicks and feed it to their fat mother for breakfast on a silver platter which she can keep because they are very poor and I am very nice." He said in a self-righteous voice.

"Boy Draco, you love to hear you're voice, don't you?" Hermione spoke, finishing sucking up to the old barmy.

"Shut up mudblood before I turn you into a beaver."

"Make me!" Hermione yelled, sticking out her tongue.

As Draco was about to go do just that, Harry jumped at him, made the blonde boy tripped and hit his head on the floor, and become unconscious.

_to be continued..._

_the flashback of what happened will be in chapter three, that's why Draco is unconscious! See how smart I am? _

A/N: I'm so sorry for not updating for like forever! I was so busy with stuff anf there were personal problems to deal with in the school front! Anywas, as a means of apology to you, my readers, I have a treat. For every reviewer who can asnwer this question, I shall give you a sweet treat! An small one-page comic i found floating on line about Draco and harry. You'll love it, I swear! Anways, here is the question!

WHAT DOES YAOI MEAN?

Tricky?

A little...but you can find the answer almost anywhere, just type it out!

And it is alos a bribery for someone to review this story people thought I have forsaken...

* * *

Return to Top 


End file.
